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Mom Shaming: Part 2


Appearances


Mom Shaming is an unnecessary aspect of being a mother/parents; when other mothers or just random/ordinary people judge and make comments about what you do/are doing as a parent. Not everyone may have experienced it, but those of you who have were not pleased after. For reference, where I'm from we call our mothers Mam and that's what'll be saying from now on, as saying mom is not the norm for me.


It's quite sad now that online bullying and shaming regarding appearances is considered "normal" because everyone has something to say about how you dress, your size and even your make up. But what I find so bizarre is when strangers or people make comments about how you've dressed your child/baby or how you allow them to experiment or even how you as a parent look.


I've seen people comment on other people's pictures of their kids in costumes/tutu's/sparkly outfits that "that's outrageous and embarrassing for the child." Or when a toddler/younger child has nail varnish on it seems to be judged just because it's "over the top" or "not a necessity for a child." No, many things aren't a necessity for children and babies, but if it's safe and the parents have allowed it then it's no one else's business.

I just can't understand how people feel it's okay to make any remarks to mothers/parents about how they dress their children or how they allow them to try new things like "play with some kids make up" or some nail varnish/fake tattoos.



Although I think there are times when family/friends will make comments because of their observations and out of the best interest of your child; specifically regarding clothing. Like if it's a hot day and you've dressed your baby up in black leggings, long socks, a singlet, a t-shirt, a jacket ect... sometimes someone might make a comment like "it's a bit hot and sweaty maybe she/he only needs her singlet and nappy(diaper) on." I don't believe it's judgement, I think that's someone just looking out for you; and when you're a mother everything is constant so sometimes dressing your child may not have been the centre of focus at that time.


But, for those shamers who think it's okay to comment on a mother's style and body and how she dresses her child/children. There is just no sense to it, it tears not only the mother down but her confidence and security. It's no one's job to judge how anyone dresses or looks. If you want your baby to wear flowery headbands or neons colours or jewelry; then that is your choice as the mother/parent and will always be your choice (until they get old enough to run away from you).


As for how you look, as the mother/parent, that will always be your business. If you feel comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans or some shorts or flip flops or leggings or joggers or dresses or skirts or a onesie; that is yours to decide. Especially if you are a new mother; sometimes you should just be happy that you've had a shower or put a fresh shirt on. Don't feel the pressure to look like you're going to met the Queen on a Tuesday morning coffee date with a friend. If you want to get all dressed up; go for it. If you want to keep it simple and clean; go for it. Either way, those who appreciate you will accept you for whoever and whatever you are.


*Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. All that is written here is my personal opinion, observations, some research and online reading/researching.*


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