When is the right time to become a parent?
I have been thinking about this question a lot recently. No Mam, not because I want babies yet; but because I wonder if there is ever really a right time to be a parent? Is there an ideal age? healthy window? financial level? I did watch a fascinating video on youtube about this exact concept and it was very humbling to see mothers and couples of all ages, statuses and financial bands figuring it all out themselves.
If i'm honest living in Asia has made the idea of becoming a parent sort of a burden. I can see that everyone around you is always waiting for "the next big thing." If it's not marriage, it's babies, if it's not baby number one it's baby number two. I am surprised they don't ask when you expect to die too? I am constantly asked why I don't have children yet and when am I going to have children and all. I am not complaining, just explaining the reality.
I can realistically say that I am too selfish, financially unstable and emotionally unstable to have a child any time soon. My husband on the other hand wanted children like 3 years ago. I see it simply like this: I like being able to do whatever I want, if I have a baby I won't really be able to do that. I work extremely hard to survive and still pay and save to do future things; babies and children are not free. And finally, I cry when they item I wanted on a food menu is out of stock/unavailable; babies require emotionally mature figures to take care of them most of the time. Considering all these extremely important factors, I know it would be selfish and unfair to bring an innocent baby into my world that is unstable; so that's not in my cards yet.
In my opinion there is no ideal age to become a Mam or Dad; I think if it is a decision you're going to make, then assessing your finances and living environment/situation are the most significant things to consider before making that step. And obviously your health too. If you know you can provide for that child and keep them safe and loved then that's ideal. By providing I mean the necessities like food, clothes, nappies/medicines and basic toys/accessories; Not designer this or that (but if you like the finer things, do what you gotta do.)
Sometimes not all women/couples get to make the choice to be parents; as it's made for them. I do believe that if you do get a "surprise" at times that's what some couples need; because beforehand they were always worrying about "when is the right time?" Although this may not be the case for all those who get an unexpected surprise.
All in all I think trying to put a certain age or time for becoming a parent doesn't always work for people as they may not be ready then or may want to take that leap earlier than originally planned. I know for my husband his friend sent him a table explaining that becoming a dad from the age 30 onwards is "Not Good" because then you'll be too old. I calmly replied that that information was a pile of bollocks. When it's right for you, then it's right for you. Don't let anyone ever pressure you into anything; let alone having a baby.
*All this information is based on my personal opinion and my ideas; I am not a medically qualified practitioner*
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